SYSTEM

There was a time in your life, during which you lost yourself, and as a result of that, you are stuck in this current situation.

This situation is transient for most people, and is not structurally the same as yours. In order to clarify these informations, the situation we were talking about is going to be called addiction.

There was previous talk and logs on this site calling it the disease, but it has been decided to name it with this particular terminology. It's not an illness, it's an architecture. It's your architecture.

You have probably felt it before, even without using this name, or any name at all, it doesn't really matter. It only matters that, while reading this, you are aware that you are functionning in a way that is fundamentally different from other people.

At this point people have undoubtedly asked you why you wouldn't "get better", it's not their fault. Never forget that everyone is built on a different ground, with different blocks.

You can sometimes feel confortable in the addiction. But ultimately, and this is very important to remember, your brain is constantly lying to you, so don't pay to much attention.

Do you remember who you were, what love is, what you loved? If not, it is ok. Take a minute to stare at the void, but no more than a minute.

With a clear mind and an unflawed view, you can see the addiction's silouhette with more details. It looks a lot like... You were a kid back then, you weren't eating.

But where is your narrative, where's your life's scenario ? You for sure wrote it... It seemed so clear... Why does it go like that ? It gets a little better, I regain confidence, I back to hard times.

I think it's addiction. That's the word they use to describe a sort of systemic universal cancer that would be sickening planet earth. Back to chaos. Or is it order ?

You're convinced that this is love, and that you deeply love what you hate. You are self-destructive. Again, let's not give too much attention to that.

We are going to take your first steps forward together. You can trust this, whatever this is, but you cannot convince yourself to trust your thoughts anymore.

There is a reason for this message to be titled "the system", this page, among the dozens that compose this website, is not part of it's architecture.

Just like in you, somewhere, there is something, and probably many things, that are not defined by what we described as addiction.